bakit nga ba may bakla kung ang ginawa lang naman ng Diyos ay babae at lalake? hindi naman sila nanganganak pero dumadami sila… alam naman ng buong madla na tao rin sila pero bakit pinagdadamot sa kanila ang respetong unang una ay dapat deserving sila?ayokong alamin ang sagot. nagulat ka no? marami akong rason kung bakit at hindi ko rin alam kung maeexplain ko ng tama at lubusan ang aking katwiran. iniisip ko kasi na hanggang sa huling paghinga ko ay may mga kaibigan o katiwala pa rin akong mga bakla.



pagsinabing bakla, dalawang tao kaagad ang pumapasok sa utak ko: si doming at si kris. pareho silang parte ng pamilya namin kasi halos sila na rin ang nagpalaki samin ng kapatid ko. wala na si doming pero si kris andito pa rin. hindi mapantayan ng kahit sinong tao ang kanilang pagmamahal at pagiging loyalista samin. ang paboritong alaga nun ni doming ay ako at si kris naman ay numerong konsintidor at rah-rah queen ng aking kapatid. nung pinapagalitan kami nuon eh sila ang nag-aabot ng pagkain samin kahit na sobrang burat na burat na kami sa kakaharap sa pader. FACE THE WALL kasi ang paboritong punishment ng nanay namin kaya talagang parang mamatay ka na sa pagharap sa dingding o sa pader sa sobrang kaboringan.
hindi mapantayan ng kahit ninong tao ang katapangan ng dalawang tao na binanggit ko kasi kaya nilang ibuwis ang buhay nila para samin. ilang letters na ba ang sinulat nila para iexplain sa school namin ang mga rasones sa mga katarantaduhang ginawa naming magkapatid? ilang taon na rin bang halos nagmamadali sila parati na dalhan kami ng pananghalian sa school para daw mainit init pa ang pagkain kumpara dun sa pagkain na binebenta ng school? di mo rin mapigilan ang mga yan sa pagtatrabaho sa negosyo namin kasi KELANGAN DAW PARA MAGING KOMPORTABLE ang buhay namin. minsan nga pinagalitan ko si Kris na hindi na sya nagpapahinga. katwiran ba naman: I AM A CAREER WOMAN. I AM THE QUEEN OF ALL CAREERWOMEN. o di ba? imbis na magalit ka eh matatawa ka na lang. hindi mo rin kakayanin ang makipagtarayan sa kanila kasi hanggang sa espanyol ay mumurahin ka ng mga yan basta’t alam nila nasa tamang lugar sila. uutuin mo? hay naku…. mas matalino ang mga yun. iniisip mo pa lang, alam na nila. hwag mo na rin pala ipaalam sa kanila na inaaway ninyo kami kasi tama ang armoury ng mga yan. ipagtatanggol kami ng mga yan to the highest level kaya hindi na question ang loyalty nila.
siguro, dahil sa kanila, nagkaron ng espesyal na puwang sa puso ko ang mga bakla. halos tatlong bakla na rin ang unang umamin sakin ng kanilang sitwasyon at ako na rin ata ang sobrang nakahinga ng maluwag nung inamin na nila sa ibang tao na bakla nga sila. masayang masaya ako kasi out of the closet na nga sila at ngayon ay nag-eenjoy sa buhay nila. di tulad dati na parang bilanggo sa sariling anino. halos iiyak na ako ng dugo nun sa kakakinig sa kanila kung gaano kahirap ang itago sa magulang at pamilya ang mga dinadaanan nila at halos lumuha rin ako ng dugo sa sobrang saya ko nung ikwento nila sakin na tanggap na tanggap naman pala sila ng pamilya nila.
sa mga panahon din na malungkot ako, isang text lang sa mga kaibigang bakla, may instant coffee drinking companion na ako, may shopping critique at may sanity checker pa ako. minsan kasi, sila lang yung may kayang magpamukha sakin na ako ay isang tao lamang na nagkakamali, nadadapa at natatalisod. pero kahit nagliliparan na ang salitang halos ayaw kong marinig pero totoo naman ay meron pa rin akong hug nakukuha sa huli. tanggap pa rin ako kahit na hindi katanggap tanggap ang mga ginawa ko. minsan naman ay halos di na sila magsasalita tungkol dun sa dinadaanan ko. imbitahin ko lang sila at hayaan magpakitang gilas sa isa’t isa sa pagpapatawa, pwede na siguro magpagalaw ng geothermal plant ang aking tawa sa sobrang lakas at halos di mapigil hanggang makalimutan ko na lang ang aking problema. sa mga panahon na gusto ko rin magwala… sa simpleng gusto ko lang sumayaw, uminom at humalakhak. andyan ang mga yan para sabayan ako. hindi na rin bago yung pag masyado na akong nag-eenjoy to the point na sinasaktan ko na ang sarili ko, andyan ang mga yan para batukan ako at hilahin sa realidad. pero sabi ko nga, sa huli may hug pa rin ako.
hindi ko maipaliwanag ng husto ang respetong binibigay ko at gusto ko pang ibigay sa mga bakla. makayanan pa kaya ng salita ang pagdescribe ng utang na loob ko sa kanila? halos buong pagkatao ko ay talagang may impluensya nila. paano ba mababayaran ang sakripisyong kusang pinili nila para lang magkaron kami ng marangya at komportableng buhay? walang sapat na salita o pera ang pwedeng pumantay sa mga ganyang klaseng desisyon.
hindi ko na pag-aaksayahan pa ng panahon ang paghanap ng rason kung bakit andyan sila sa buhay ko kasi, in the first place, hindi nila pinapabigat ang loob ko or ang buhay ko. ang mahalaga ay pinahahalagahan ko sila at alam ko ang worth nila sa buhay ko. they deserve all the respect and love that i can give them kasi dahil sa kanila, nagkaron ako ng masayang buhay figuratively and realistically.pano naman pala hindi ako maging grateful eh ang…
nagpalaki sakin…nag-aayos ng buhok ko….tumatahi ng damit ko…nagmemake up sakin kapag may okasyon…mga CI ko nuon…residenteng doktor na mabait sakin habang ginagamot ako….nagpapatawa sakin paminsan minsan…dumadamay pag ako ay heartbroken….nagreremind sakin na dapat kong alagaan ang sarili ko ay…
…. mga bakla?
honga pala… meron akong isang special gift. hindi mahirap sakin ang malaman kung ang isang tao ay bakla…
so ikaw? ano ang kwento mo tungkol sa mga bakla? isa pa pala, kung takot ka sa mga bakla, ibig sabihin ikaw ang may problema. isa kang duwag. hamon ba ito? hindi! reality check lang… malayo pa sa planetang x ang iyong dream na mawala sa mundo ang mga bakla.

hihihi! di ko alam kung bakit sinulat ko yung huli. basta ang alam ko, masaya ako na may mga bakla. ikaw ba? masaya ka rin ba?

About the Guest Author:
IFM is a 20 something blogger from Bacolod City, Philippines. She graduated from DLSU and is currently handling their family business. As a registered nurse, businesswoman and entrepreneur, she recently adds blogging to her resume, a proof of being an empowered woman. She’s maybe famous on the blogosphere but her privacy is her topmost priority thus no picture has been posted yet in any of her page. But i swear, she’s gorgeous (walang halong biro mare). She is the first blogger i met from wordpress. Visit her blog here.

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